Actually speaking, i really am not a philosophical or a serious person, atleast not by nature. Im simply amazed at what life can make out of a simple person and make one stand in front of the world to be reflecting as a completely different persona.
Sometimes,yes, let me be honest, i confess i am just pretending to be a fully mature grown up individual because deep inside, my heart is still beating fast about my childish fantasies, silly wishes and pranks. I keep putting a brave front every time to stand up like a big lady, a mother of two kids, and a person who has to take care of something very important all the time. Whenever I close my eyes, I only remember myself as a 7 year old girl, running around the house, my mom chasing me to have me finish the cup of bournvita, the small stainless steel cup that i always used to have the cream from the milk with sugar, the lady’sfinger curry or the ripe tomotoes diced and added with sugar.
Somehow, that image is stuck in my mind after 30 years of seeing through life! I knew my sister would always be a great lady, a mature individual for she always knew what to do. I have observed her all my life and learnt, fought, disobeyed, loved and gone back to her everytime, totally fascinated about what she has always been.
All that I ask of life, is to just let me be myself, my original self. I miss the freedom to behave like a child, those endless giggles, the little harmless wishes, my jam bottles, my two plaits, freedom to explore sweet smeeling gardens, chase butterflies and be delighted about the small wonders…
Life, will you never excuse me from being someone else all the time?