“Stereotypes?” Nahi chalega!..

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My little angel does look more than an angel to anyone who meets her forr the first time.  Her eyes and smile are so wide that it will take a while for one to come out of it to know what she is capable of.  She is one of a kind for sure, who has a deal-with-life kind of attitude, totally pragmatic, no sentimental or emotional frills attached.

What I learn from the little Dare devil(DD)is to beware of gender stereotyping. 

” Aashi, if you wear anna’s clothes all the time, and dont wear skirts, people will think you are a boy”. 

 DD responds,” Thats okay with me!” 

“You are old enough to help me clean the house, arrange the dishes and a lot of things at home. ” 

DD gi ves me back” Anna is older than I.

 You can ask him to help first”

Poor Amma, ” If you dont let me wash your hair, you will never have long hair like the girl in the shampoo ad”

DD  handles it..,” Anyway, I am not gonna act in any shampoo ad.  I dont mind my hair short”

Amma, “Im gonna ask appa to buy me a scooty so that I can drop

 you at paatu class”

DD suggests ” I think you should just buy it yourself.  You have your

own ATM card.”

Im sure she is just the material for

 ” stereotypes..nahi chalega!”

 

This is me!

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I am smitten by a strange bug! Dont help me here, please.

By now, I have got so used to it that I cant identify myself without it.  It is not visisble on the surface though! Iam referring to some die hard viral inside me which never die come what may.  They have grown into my system all over and refuse to be flushed out  inspite of any amount of ..resolutions, advices, judgements and punitive actions. 

Let me tell you what these viruses are..

One strong virus is called “never give up”.  While this keeps me going, I dont like it much.  Whenever I want to really stop trying hard, (really), or when anybody else would have given up, I cannot.  This virus tell me ” keep going..you cant leave”.  The next one is called ” What next”.  This is more dangerous than an earthquake.. bcos, whenever there is something which goes out of control, overboard, the virus keeps giggling inside, calling out” what next”. This is terrible.  Who wants to be prepared, so much? At such times, I can imagine myself taking form of a strange kind of creature, wriggling inside a dark hole and still not afraid. Bad, i know!

The last and the most terryfying virus is the ” This is me”.  What it does is, it puts out a  front overtly brave and declares the level I can go if I feel right about something.  There are  no two ways, and my mind just spontaneously decides “this is me”.  The outcomes, i dont care bcos of the other two viruses and they really do their part well.

I am sure, after describing the viruses so much in detail, no one will come forward to help me destroy the virus.  You know what, now I feel “dont give up” and then, “What next” .  I dont care or need any one to help me do anything really.  I just need everybody to be doing what they are supposed to be and not in anyway try helping me.  I am not helpless.  My viruses will take care.  “this is me”

 

Brand New Year!!!

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” New” is always exciting..be it clothes, slippers:-), bags, jewellery, a new year, new resolutions, well,why not? I have always had fascination and an “open” secret craving for new things.  This new year, I have an interesting resolution.  It is .to be a silent observer..to talk less and observe more.  Happy to share what I happened to observe while commuting by the local train last evening:

A lady talks to someone over phone using her hands free ear plugs:

” Enna da, have you reached home”.. following some response on the other side

“Yeruma madu.konjam kuda..” following some response

“Ennaku theriyum. Shut up!” and hangs up.

The whole compartment observes a deafening silence.  All of a sudden, I hear a voice across the half length  metal  separator,  from the general compartment.  A guy speaks ..over a hands free ..

” Enna kozhuppa?”

“Nee daan sariyaana …”

“Enna Enna enna panuve??”

Pindrop silence for a minute.

All the ladies sitting in one row exchanged secret glances and a smirk without catching the eyes of the lady speaker or attracting the attention of the guy next compartment:-) . We couldnt laugh out aloud fearing the same treatment of words showered on us by either parties.

Observation: If you use hands free ear phones be assured that the whole world is observing your conversation.  High risk of people looking at you like a …no ..no..i just meanta simple  weirdo 🙂

Inference: If you still want to talk effortlessly, talk only in a foreign language or atleast be sweet to the person on the other side.

Resolution: never to buy the hands free.. its ok to still hold the phone and stop by to talk than be popular for this.  Also,very important… to stop observing and start talking more:-)

 

 

Real Reflections

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 I looked at myself, every now and then,

Into that mirror, as a child

I realised those  were the eys of my parents,

I always found myself very lovely and sweet.

I looked at myself every now and then,

Into that mirror, as a young girl,

I realised those were the eyes of my friends,

I always found myself lovable and cheerful

I looked at myself , every now and then,

Into that mirror, as a woman

I realised those were the eyes of my man

I always found myself adorable and beautiful

I look at myself every now and then,

Into that mirror; as a mother

I realise these are the eyes of my children

I always find myself strong and unyielding!

Parent Pleasure

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There is a splurge of contentment and supreme bliss, one in being a parent and more so, if something very significant is going to take place in your child’s life. I say this with a lot of joy in my voice because this is how I have felt so many times deep inside my heart everytime my children take most important steps in their life. Be it the first time my son had his happy shower at home in the hands of his inexperienced mother, the first time he had bananas- his first solid food, the first time I got his baby sister home and they both lay on either side of me making our family a complete one, the first yellow frock with laces that my daughter was wearing to get her first vaccine- the first time that we took her out of home, the first day my son stepped into play school and looked back at me from the door, school admission for my daughter, which was a cake walk because of her assured sibling seat, the first bicycle my son fell in love with, my daughter’s first pattu pavadai for her first bday gifted by her ever loving periamma! The list is endless in my mind and these little pleasures have given me so many moments of joy, filled my heart to the brim and had it overflowing with pride whenever I looked into my husband’s eyes!
I never imagined parenthood means so much! This feeling is at the peak when I see them snuggle into thier Dad’s warm arms and make the most of his lavish love extracting promises to buy them all those sweet little nothings during the weekend. They enjoy the pretentious envy in my eyes when Im refused my share of goodies and they get to have all that they wish:-) And that is exactly what I wish too.
With the size of clothes shrinking all of a sudden, I am caught in amusement as to how they both have grown so much right in front of my eyes, straight of my lap. iam all excited and geared up to take them from childhood to this precious most memorable pre teen hood:-). My son is now ready for his upanayanam, the most sacred duty of parents for their son. I wish him the best from all worlds and pray for my parents to bless him from heaven for a noble and wise life filled with happiness, love, wisdom and success.
What more can a mother wish for her dear one?

My UKMs..

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After several months of hunting for an Ultimate Kitchen Machine, a life saving gadget for a working woman which I was sure was readily discovered and available in the market, I got hold of it this sunday!

I remember having started my hunt for this UKM (Ultimate ..u know wat:-)August last year. I kept imagining of a dream machine which could cut, chop, cook, grind, squeeze, knead and whip, all at the same time.  Let me tell you..it was less difficult finding my life partner than this kitchne one(!)  Starting from Thangavel Nadar kadai down my street in mylapore, to the kitchen killadi shops like prestige outlets, viveks, shahs, and wahs of  this part of the city, I made it a point to explain that there is this UKM available in the market and I have seen it somewhere. Every other sunday outing, hopping into one of these stores was becoming like .. a bad habit!

Not to disappoint my hubby dear, and my kids, who alwasy have this” Oh No! not again!” expressions on their faces during all my shopping expeditions, I decided to redefine my needs.  In the past one year, I have got myself a microwave, hoping it would give me chat phat solutions in the mornings.  Btw, it does, bcos, nowadays, I have got into this addiction of putting in all my sambar, rasam and curry in and out of the MW atleast once, for my own gratifaction. Somehow, it gives me a real high in the kitchen and proves that I am much smarter (than you know who!!!  :).  Soon after that, I found out that it is not the actual cooking which is no big deal bcos..anyway, I have this 4 burner gas stove, where I could just put four different things and get it all done in a single shot; but its  the chopping of vegetables that takes a lot of time.  So, there I go and get my Vegetable chopper, a cute little hassle free gadget. Just press, and there you get those onions, carrots, etc chopped like in a few seconds. But the fact of the matter is, carrots get done too finely and loose out taste when you make the curryYou cannot put in beans, avarekkai or kotthavarangai , ofcos, not lady’s finger or brinjals either! The only chopping it serves is onions:-) There, I go all over again and all resolved to get that UKM from wherever it is available. In the meantime, I did not want to say no to the Induction stove, which came at a special price for a group of us at  office from a known vendor. C’mon, what’s the big fuss..anyway it will come in handy on a “no-gas day”.

I  hunted a few other stores again and I was introduced to this fascinating “11 attachments” food processor! I decided that ‘s exactly what I wanted.  All chopping, juices, kneading everything in a single gadget! Ultimate,is what  I thought. I got different prices quoted for different models/makes and it was so cool to hear what it could do untill..until I went to another store where the guy told me he would give it to me at  half the price  bcos there were really no takers!  Hubby dear made a face. “Never take anything which comes free..lets take some more time” he threatened. I meekly surrendered.  I realised, all the chopiing that it can do will only be onions again. carrots, beans may be too finely chopped and may not taste like what my kids are used to. Again, washing so many tiny blades is a pain. How about an easy knife and a smart white cutting board? simple , no dependency on power or abilities:-). If  I cant chop, I can quietly pass it on to hubby dear and say “please” . Where as if it is a machine, then the whole world thinks i do not need any help.  Using gadgets seem to be more cumbersome than the actual 30 minute cooking that I do everymorning.  The only thing I cant do is the boring Sathukodi juice, which he has been reslentlessly doing all by himself since the day I gave up:-). 

we went again this sunday bcos Hubby dear felt there’s a need for a Juicer, defintely:-) There, we went all over the place hunting again. I inssited that there’s a Juicer which can take citrus as well as other fruits  but to our utter dismay, we found out ” JUICER MEANS PURELY CITRUS JUICER OR PURELY NON CITRUS JUICER”  is what we got to hear.  we couldnt decide as to which is more for us, whether we would require a juicer which can take all fruits, whether we really make so much juice on everyday basis or whether the kids really take all the fruit juices to school everyday! The price range for juicers was from 500 to 3000.

After much thought, we  settled for a rs.600  citrus juicer which is totally uncomplicated, looks like just the citrus squeezer we normally use ( yes the plastic one) but with an electric connection so you can get the juice with some power, without much strain and stress. It looks real simple to clean as well. no high funda, no nonsense, as simple and straightforward as it can be.

Now, I have them all, United Ultimate Kitchen Machines..microwave, induction, chopper, juicer, mixer grinder and four burner stove. I realise the only way to make life easy in the morning is to chop the veggies at night and store it in the fridge for cooking in the morning. Or, yet another wasy of getting it done is get help with the chopping from you know who:-)

Simple and sweet:-)

 

 

weekends, why end?

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The weekends always seem to get over in a hurry as if it was never supposed to come by or it happened like a silly mistake. It’s so natural that the little ones have taken after us so much 🙂  W e are, as a whole family,  so  engrossed in lazing around the entire friday evening, then the saturday and sunday, till the sunday  evening happens much to our shock!

 Usually, I am the one who pulls the first trigger bcos its natural that the kids uniforms are not washed or ironed..not bcos I forgot about it but i remembered it all the time.  Just that I could n’t muster the courage to soak, brush, wash , add  vanish bleach, ujala stiffener, and then put it in the washing machine just as nam ke vasthe wash, the only beneft being it almost dries it fully.  I have to press all the buttons including prewash, stains, soak, double rinse..uff.. pressing buttons is also quite a pain, dont you agree?  My lilttle one, Aashi, who never misses the ads on TV, (that too, just like me:-) keeps asking me everytime ” if you have to do the entire washing, then what is the machine for” just like in the surf excel ad.  While I never answer her bcos of bad moods for having to do so much washing by myself, I keep regreting they never made the ad that way:-) Somehow, the uniforms are ready for the enitire week by sunday night or I know I cant sleep in peace.There are other woes which I need to handle by the time the uniforms are dry.  7 pm sunday evening is realisation time for my eleven year old son, and he has never missed it all these years:-) It is very predictable that he would turn to look at his school bag after I blow a noisy horn and ask if there is anything due for the big monday.  He knows, I know, Dad knows, sis knows..that it is coming our way:-) There will be a calm like after a storm, for a few hours where everybodys’ faces in the house look longer than usual. My son usually calls those butterflies inside the stomach as stomach ache as we all know it is more to do with his maths homework.  We all understand and try not to look in his direction for a few hours. By 9pm, we are all at the dinner table,n o clue about how the two hours went by in pindrop silence.  All that is done is done in two hours. I check their bags after clearing the dishes and htting the bed.  Dictation on monday, it says in Aashi’s calendar.  I sign it quietly.  I know she can handle it  all just like me!!!! 🙂

What we sow..

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Let me talk this out.

A typical class room has 50 children in any school today. The parent teacher meetings are usually meant to enable the parent to learn how his child is performing at school and if there are any other concerns that need to be addressed. This is a good oppurtunity to know the teacher’s assessment about the child, identify the strenghts and the scope for improvement for the child. While, if you ask me, I would only want to get feedback to this extent and come back home, happy and  content. Ofcos, if there are any areas for improvement, I’d defintely work on those for the betterment of my children. However, it is annoying sometimes to see parents and teachers talk at length in these meetings, either ranting away endlessly about how good hi/her child is and the other, more extreme, of what a misfit the child has been. This, discussion to my shock, is indulged in front of the child!
I was a witness to one such instance, last week, when the mother of a little girl about 7 year old, had to bring out a list of complaints about the child starting from not obeying her instrucitons, watching tv all the time, not doing homework, not eating, sleeping, not reespecting grandparents and my gosh! A really wondered whether it was a policestation where someone was making a complaint copy. Ridiculous is the one right word to describe what was happening. It was heartening to see that the wide eyed child was gazing at something distant by the window as she lost interest in the never ending converstation. I only wished I had a remote control with a mute button to silence the two parties. If the child had to be dealt so unfairly by the mother and teacher, in front of an audience, which is the parents and children of the same class, what happens to the morale of the child in question, how miserable would she feel inside, that all those white crimes that she had unknowingly indulged in had to be made public just in front of her, what is the bonding that she would enjoy with the teacher/mother or friends..? Is it necessary that a mere 7 year old be put into so much a situation for just being what she is? What have the parents done in contributing to her personality and inculcating right values like respecting others, obedience etc.. if they themselves cannot understand basics of bringing up children? Shame on such parents who would let down their own children in front of the world instead of empowering these little flowers with positive outlook and right values. What we sow initially within the first 5 years is what is important as that is exactly what we are going to reap later on. Rather than just boasting of big cars and silk designer saris during parents meets, the parents should focus on what will encourage the child to perform better, be it academics, attitude grooming, skills and talent enrichment.
I think I will just stop here:-)

Just let me be!

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Actually speaking, i really am not a philosophical or a serious person, atleast not by nature. Im simply amazed at what life can make out of a simple person and make one stand in front of the world to be reflecting as a completely different persona.
Sometimes,yes, let me be honest, i confess i am just pretending to be a fully mature grown up individual because deep inside, my heart is still beating fast about my childish fantasies, silly wishes and pranks. I keep putting a brave front every time to stand up like a big lady, a mother of two kids, and a person who has to take care of something very important all the time. Whenever I close my eyes, I only remember myself as a 7 year old girl, running around the house, my mom chasing me to have me finish the cup of bournvita, the small stainless steel cup that i always used to have the cream from the milk with sugar, the lady’sfinger curry or the ripe tomotoes diced and added with sugar.

Somehow, that image is stuck in my mind after 30 years of seeing through life! I knew my sister would always be a great lady, a mature individual for she always knew what to do. I have observed her all my life and learnt, fought, disobeyed, loved and gone back to her everytime, totally fascinated about what she has always been.

All that I ask of life, is to just let me be myself, my original self. I miss the freedom to behave like a child, those endless giggles, the little harmless wishes, my jam bottles, my two plaits, freedom to explore sweet smeeling gardens, chase butterflies and be delighted about the small wonders…

Life, will you never excuse me from being someone else all the time?

Hello everybody!!!

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Its such a pleasure to be back on blogs after a real 4 years off track:-) I mean, i kept my blogging instincts alive for quite sometime on several other blogspots and slowly found myself too preoccupied to actually sit down and blog. Thats funny, i know. Ya, but like several other excuses, i just decided to blame it on time, fate, rains, tight schedules, kids, deadlines, thunderstorms, and may be, even politics:-) for not having me let blog! Howz that for an excuse,eh?

So, now, Im here , you know why? yes, perfect guess. I exhausted all my excuses of not being able to do whatever i wanted to do.  Here, i go, in full swing, willing, happy and determined to be part of this wonderful blogging community. 

Hoping to hear from everybody who is like me, unlike me, just to be part of everything that happens around the circle of life:)..oops, that just came out without a..deliberate effort. So splease dont laugh.

Mothersarms is what i have named my blog like those other blogs which i lost in the world web so far.  I dedicate it to my two beautiful children and most lovable husband who have made me believe in myself, feel every ounce of motherhood and rejoice for having been born a woman, a daughter, a sister, a wife and of all, a proud excited mother:-)

thanks all. and remember to welcome me here!!!